Tip of the Month: Finding Individual Time With Your Kids
Easy Ways To Find Individual Time With Your Kids (& Why)
Spending time with your children individually is so very important, and when done regularly will reap many benefits for them, you, and your relationship together. This is the reason that individual time is so important. Honestly, some children only come alive when you get them alone and give them time.
Spending time with each child may be difficult when you have quite a few children and you are busy and tired parents. Here are some ideas on easy ways to give your children individual attention without having to go on dates every other day to fit it all in.
- Individual time will strengthen your bond
Group dynamics are different from one-on-one dynamics, and when you are alone with one child they will have your undivided attention. Sometimes children will share things with you they wouldn’t share in a group.
- It may cut back on attention-getting behavior
Children often act out in an attempt to get attention. It is built in our children to desire admiration and love from their parents. Spending time alone with each child will help to fill up their love tanks and there will be less of a need to fight for your attention.
- It will build self-esteem and worth in shyer, less outgoing children
By singling out your quiet child (and each child in the family in their own turn) you’ll show them that you are willing to take the time to draw them out of their shell.
- It communicates directly to your child that you value their needs and desires
If you spend a Saturday with one child every month (or at whatever frequency works for your family) this is a great time to go and do whatever is on their heart.
Does your son love all things space? Why not take him to a museum, exhibit or park specifically oriented to his current phase? This will particularly be special for him because you two being alone means no one else (another sibling trying to complain about something) is there to say his idea is stupid, no fun, or uncool. If you don’t know their likes and interests then this is a perfect opportunity to learn about them!
- It may be the only way to really get to know your child
You may have a child who never volunteer their story, sad moment, triumph or rejection with the whole family.
They may not think it is something that everyone should hear. If you’ve consistently carved out time with them and communicated that you are always there for them (and are willing to take some time away from everyone else) then they’ll be more apt to come to you with what is important to their heart.
If they are hurt or really agonizing over something (as all kids do from time to time) you want there to be a clear open place for talk. And, you want them to know that their siblings don’t need to know about it.
Easy ways to spend one-on-one time with kids
- Have one child per night help you cook dinner.
- When possible, run errands with one child at a time.
- Take walks around your neighborhood (it’s free and exercise, win win).
- Join them alone for one of their interests (sports, dance, library, etc.).
- Do your individual chores together.
- Read books together.
You love them individually and for who they are as a person. Spending time alone with them on a consistent basis will help solidify their place in the family (in their minds) and will bring you both memories that will last a lifetime.
Remember, You Must take care of you, be well, and then if you are able to add in that individual time do it. If not, then have good joint time.